DA Revelations Episode 9: End of the Year
by AngelExposed
Summary: It's the end of the year and Remy decides to try to take charge of his life and fix everything wrong with it. R
1. Chapter 1 Lousy Year

Dismal Angel Revelations

Episode 9 – End of the Year

Chapter 1 – Lousy Year

There were two blonde girls standing at the bottom of the double-wide staircase of the mansion's foyer; two tawny haired girls with tousled curls standing there in matching white lace dresses with matching rose pink satin sashes around their waists. The same pulled up knee socks, the same pink Mary-Jane shoes. They were holding hands.

They were like a mirror reflection standing side by side, every single detail seemed to be exactly the same.

But no...something was different...

On further inspection one girl wore a silvery bracelet with a dangling heart charm glimmering in the sunlight spilling from the large windows behind the two girls.

"Help me..." the girl with the bracelet pleaded of him; he froze where he stood on the staircase.

"I don't know how..." he replied after a time, afraid and confused.

"Help me!"

"Help me!"

He wasn't sure he heard anything at first, or if he were simply stuck in a dream; he sat up and ran his fingers through his hair, groggy, unsure. And then he heard it again.

"Help me!"

How no one else heard it, he wasn't sure; but he knew the voice right away. Jessie Crowell was screaming, and she was screaming for help.

Remy LeBeau threw off the covers and left the room, he found her room moments later, the door closed only halfway so the light from the hall could spill in. He heard her crying in her sleep and it wasn't the only sound he could hear; there was a strange crackling that he was oddly familiar with. As he stepped into her bedroom, the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stood on end.

Jessie was tossing and turning on the bed; in the light from the hall, her hair glistened, some of it was slightly raised so that even he could see the static in the air.

He reached out to shake her awake, but stopped to see his fingers were glowing with tiny electric charges. "Jessie..." he said, unsure of what was going on, "Jessie...wake up..."

And then she sat up and screamed like she'd never screamed before; her face scrunched up tightly except for her wide open mouth, he could almost count every tooth in there. Her scream seemed to pulse right through him; he could hear the electric charge in the room, almost like a buzzing; the lights in the hallway flickered off completely for several moments.

"JESSIE!" he cried at her.

And then it was over; her eyes opened and the lights in the hall flickered back on. Her eyes, normally a stormy grey blue, were a bright cobalt that reminded him of the earliest morning sky before a sunrise; he saw the colour from her eyes drain and air in the room changed, he felt his skin tingle in the after effects of the charge, he shivered slightly.

"Are you okay...?" he asked softly.

"I saw him again..." Jessie put her hands to her face.

"Who?"

"The man...with the yellow eyes..." she sobbed into her hands.

"It's okay, mignon. He ain't gonna get you," Remy came over and sat on the bed.

"What happened?"

Remy gazed up to the door to see Kitty standing there with the baby in her arms; Caleb was crying and Remy realised at once why Kitty had not been able to come straight away.

"Just a lil' bad dream is all..." Remy answered, he put his hand on Jessie's tawny head and stroked the girl's hair away from her face, "she'll be okay."

"I tried to get here soon as I could...but I was feeding the baby and I had kinda dozed off," Kitty confessed; even in the dim light coming from the hall Remy could see the bags under the young woman's eyes making her look ten years older than a woman of twenty three.

"How did no one else hear?" Remy demanded.

"Danger room," Kitty replied, "early session...don't you remember?"

"They didn't tell me," Remy reminded, "I can't exactly attend them..." he added, gesturing to the dressing covering the wound on his chest.

Kitty nodded.

"Go back to bed, I'll take care of her," Remy offered to Kitty, who was only glad to go with a soft goodnight as she wandered off with the baby in her arms.

Jessie was still sobbing, hugging her knees tightly and her face buried upon them.

"No need to cry, was just a bad dream."

"He was going to get me," Jessie raised her head and he saw the tears streaming down her tiny perfect face.

"He won't. I promise," Remy took her face in his hands and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, "I'm here now and I won't let him get you, this man in your nightmares. He can't get past me..."

Jessie threw herself into his arms and cried against his neck, her tiny breath warm and fast. He leaned back against her headboard, and cradled her in his arms, he pulled the blanket across them both, feeling the December chill creep into the room. He'd move, of course, he told himself, soon as she had fallen back to sleep. He had to be out of there by the time the training session ended or anyone passing the room might assume anything about his relationship with the girl.

Except those who already knew, of course.

She shifted to rest her head on his chest, he smelled her hair and it smelled fresh and clean, not quite the same as the new baby smell he'd detected from Caleb a few days ago when Kitty had placed the infant in his arms, but it was nice all the same.

_We need to get something done about these nightmares,_ Remy thought dully as he glanced at the clock on her small nightstand. It said it was nearly six am but it was still dark. The kid would probably only sleep for another couple of hours before she would be up for the day. It seemed since he'd known the kid she'd been suffering the nightmares, they'd been a nightly thing and it seemed to be getting much worse now that her powers were manifesting during them.

"Mr. LeBeau?" she asked in a tired sigh.

"Hmmm?" he asked.

"Can you sing me something?"

A strange request he thought, "Uhm...what song?"

"I don't know," she yawned, "a song."

He tried his best to come up with a lullaby but had never really been familiar with many of them so he struggled, but a Billie Holiday song sprang to mind and he tried to sing it as best he could, humming the words he didn't know; he wasn't sure how long he'd been singing but he heard Jessie's gentle child-like sigh in her sleep.

"I didn't know you liked Billie Holiday," came a voice from the door.

He glanced up to see Rogue leaning against the doorframe in full uniform, her hair tied up in a bun, her newly cut bangs soaked with sweat.

"I'm full of surprises," he said, keeping his voice low.

"She have another nightmare?" Rogue asked.

"Oui," Remy said, he moved the child carefully and got out of the bed, "she seems to go to sleep better if someone waits with her 'til she gets over it," he fixed the covers over Jessie and brushed his fingertips against her hair one time more before leaving her there. He moved over to Rogue, who was looking at him with a soft almost distant gaze.

"You really care for her, don't you?" she asked.

He paused to look back over his shoulder at the sleeping child, "is it a bad thing?" he asked in a whisper.

"Not at all...it's kind of sweet in a way," Rogue replied, she left the room to go to her own, and Remy followed her in.

"I've been thinking," Remy said as he closed the door behind himself.

Rogue sat down on the bed to remove her boots, "oh?"

"I'm going to get that re-generative reconstructive surgery thing that Hank signed me up for on Muir Island..." he knelt down before her to help her with her boots.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Maybe you can come with me...and Jessie...spend some time together, just the three of us."

Her eyes fell upon him; her expression was curious. She hadn't expected this, "three of us?"

"Well...me and you are together, right? And...well, Jessie needs a kind of...father figure I guess. It might be nice to take her somewhere and give her some semblance of a family for a brief time...I thought it'd be nice."

"We're not exactly a family," Rogue unzipped her left boot and he tugged it off for her.

"Not a conventional one," Remy confessed, knowing it was all too true, he unzipped the right boot for her and tugged it off, "but that doesn't mean we can't still have fun pretending, even for a week or two," he let his chin rest upon her knee and stared up at her hopefully.

"It's such a strange idea coming from you," Rogue shrugged, "but...maybe. I'd have to check. Since Kitty isn't working, and the kids are coming back from Christmas vacation soon, I'm not too sure how I'd get someone to cover for me..."

"Logan can pull double shifts in the danger room – it's not like he exhausts easy," Remy suggested, he knelt up, pressed his hands firmly against her shoulders and pushed her down to the bed to climb over her and pin her playfully. "Me and you need some alone time," he added.

"And we'll get that with a seven year old with nightly bad dreams?"

"We'd get more time alone than we do now," he kissed the leather shoulder of her uniform.

"I dunno."

"Agree to this and I'll let Moira MacTaggart poke and prod at my powers all she wants 'til she figures out what I can really do," he murmured sexily into her ear.

Rogue broke her arms free of his and pushed them against his shoulders careful not to touch his wound, "are you serious?"

"Sure...you like to compromise, don't you? Do this for me, I do what you want me to do."

"Okay..." Rogue said after a moment of deep contemplation, "but..."

"But, but, but, there's always a but," Remy rolled his eyes.

"But when you get back, you have to continue working with the Professor and Hank on your powers and how to control them..."

He thought about this, "fine. But--"

"Oh now you have a but?" she asked.

"I have an _excellent_ Butt. It's firm...like fresh apples..." he smirked.

"Be serious."

"Okay, if I have to compromise to work with the Professor after I get back, then you need to compromise that you'll at least work with me on this whole _touch_ thing."

She looked away, considering this.

"Might be fun...never know how far we'll get," he tried to brush his nose against hers but a small spark jumped between them and Rogue pushed him away.

"Dammit you keep shocking me, LeBeau," she rubbed her nose awkwardly.

He laughed, "can't say we still don't got some sparks goin' after all these years."

"Not funny," Rogue winced, "that hurts."

"I'll fix it, I promise. It's not like I can help it..." he chuckled.

"Then don't touch me until you know you can control it. Seems like I'm the only one who's getting shocked, here."

Remy stretched out across the bed to look at her laying there, he tried to stop laughing but he couldn't.

"Kitty doesn't get shocked, Jessie doesn't get shocked. Minute you get near me, it's like you're charged up and waiting to zap me, you jerk."

"Sorry," he pursed his lips, "It's not intentional, I swear..."

"You're in an unusually good mood today," Rogue noted.

"Yeah. Been thinking a lot last few days..."

"And?" she asked.

"And it's New Year's Eve tomorrow, so maybe it's time for me to start fresh for the new year?"

"That's kind of a good idea," Rogue nodded, "it's been a lousy year, but...would be kind of nice to be rid of it, old year out, new year in."

"I can't wait," he admitted; he turned to look at her, but it seemed she'd already dropped off to sleep, exhausted from the early session.


	2. Chapter 2 Surrender

Chapter Two - Surrender

"I must confess, Remy, this is such an unusual request."

"To take my daughter with me when I go for surgery to fix the gaping hole in my chest?" Remy asked. It was later that morning and he was sitting in the Professor's office.

"It's not that it's an unusual request in itself – but the timing is so...sudden, perhaps, that it has left me a little unprepared," The Professor confessed. "It's not that I don't trust you with Jessie, Remy, and I know she is your daughter..."

"I don't see what the problem is," Remy replied.

"The problem lies in that it's so soon after finding out I don't think you have really adjusted to this yet..." The professor sipped his cup of coffee while he thought about this.

Remy had his own cup but he'd lost the taste for coffee today and hadn't taken a single cup. "That's the point professor. I haven't adjusted completely, it's true. But I _just_ found out...and I can't be away from her just yet."

"She'll still be here when you get back," The Professor pointed out.

"I know that. But I've missed seven years. I may have not had much time to get used to the idea of being a father but in the time I've known all I can think about is the time lost. I lost it with Gabrielle...you can't ask me to lose it with Jessie too..."

"It's not that I don't trust you to take care of the girl," The professor sighed.

"But?"

"Well...you have been doing some odd things lately that have left some room for concern..." the older man pointed out, "drinking – and ontop of painkillers. Then there's the anger issues...signs of powerful manifestations in your abilities...I have to take all these things into consideration..."

Remy put the cup on the desk and folded his arms, he leaned back in his chair.

"There's only so much responsibility with Jessie we can let you have knowing about the things you've been doing with your life as of late."

"Professor..."

"Please, let me finish," the Professor interjected, "You're suffering with a bipolar disorder that you're not treating properly with medication or seeking therapy for. You've been trying to stifle your problems with drink and I'm quite aware that you did get drunk only hours after finding out about Jessie being your daughter. I don't feel confident about putting Jessie in your care _abroad_ until you begin addressing the issues you're meant to be dealing with."

"I _am_ dealing with them," Remy responded.

The Professor raised an eyebrow, "how can you expect me to believe this when you had a drink this morning instead of eating breakfast?"

"Y'know...I wish you'd just cut me a break here," Remy frowned, "I've spent _years_ on the run after accidentally killing a kid with an anger problem and having to live with it over my head ever since. Not to mention the huge stretches of time being a madman's prisoner _and _guinea pig – some of the stuff he done to me other than this gaping hole in my chest is stuff I may _never_ recover from and you would never understand unless you went through it yourself. I've lived on the streets, under bridges, in sewers, and in dingy rat and cockroach infested apartments never being able to find the energy to try to rebuild my life," Remy stood up, edgy and distressed.

Xavier was silent, listening – Remy was surprised the Professor hadn't interjected again yet – he wasn't even sure he really wanted to tell the Professor about all these things but there seemed to be no other way to get the point across about how bad life had been.

"I have had my heart systematically ripped out by Rogue on a regular basis since the day I came to this place and still found time to work on as a handyman here through severe back problems including but not limited to a shattered tailbone," he flung his hands up as he tried to get the point across. "I've just endured my _seventh_ Christmas wondering what my daughter would be like and why she was taken from me in such a cruel way before she even had the chance to open her eyes and to top it all off I've just discovered that I have another daughter who not only do I _not_ know who her mother is or how she was conceived, but that she's as messed up as I am and it's _probably_ my fault!" Remy felt the anger rise in him like a hot fever; he swept the cup of hot coffee off the desk with one movement of his hand so that it splattered on the wall, "so forgive me if I have a drink in the morning to help me cope with what life decides to toss at me on a daily business!!"

The Professor watched him, he remained calm and quiet until Remy had finally stopped yelling. He then put his hands on the desk and twined his fingers together, "Are you finished?"

Remy sat down again and put his heads in his hands, "god, just this morning I was talking to Rogue about how I was going to start things anew with the new year..."

"It's good that you're trying to move forward, Remy," The Professor confessed, "But you cannot do it alone, and you certainly cannot do it overnight..."

Raising his head, Remy looked at the older – and much wiser man. Logically he knew everything the Professor was saying was right, but at the same time, he wanted to deny any of it made sense.

"I can help you with some of your problems, but there's other things you must do – you need to consult a doctor about your condition and retrieve proper treatment – and I think it's important that you go for the treatment to Muir Island alone so you have time apart from Rogue _and_ Jessie. It'll help you think clearer without them."

"No...I can't be apart from my daughter," Remy shook his head, "If I have to forget the surgery and _live _with a gaping hole in my chest and this pain for a year or so, then so be it. I'm not going anywhere without her."

"You would endure all that pain simply to be with your daughter?"

"You think I'm saying all this to be purely dramatic, don't you?" Remy demanded; he got up again, prepared to yell. _Calm down. Not going to solve anything losing your head with the Prof, _he warned himself.

"Of course not," The Professor sighed too.

Remy paced a little across the room, back and forth, back and forth, the silence was strangely comfortable despite the discussion that had preceded it. He stopped at the desk, and placed both hands down and leaned slightly down. "Okay, how do I fix this?" he asked.

"With baby steps," Professor Xavier opened the desk drawer at his left and sifted through until he found a dark green book, he opened it and begun to flick through it, "I have a friend who specialises in Psychiatric care; if you like I can arrange an appointment for you."

"Okay," Remy agreed with a sigh of surrender. "What else?"

In response the Professor paused to consider, "you need to take responsibility for several things, Remy. Mainly the alcoholism..."

"I thought you could just...block the parts of my brain that want the booze?" Remy asked, "I mean...I know you got powers that'd let you do it..."

"It would be better for you to do this with therapies, and talking things out and taking things one step at a time rather than looking for the quick fix, Remy."

"But it's possible, right?"

"It's possible to do it," the Professor replied, "but...it's not a permanent solution: I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it for you unless the problem was incredibly severe, seeing as how there are so many possible side-effects it could cause."

Remy nodded, understanding. "What else do I need to do?"

"Your health, you really need to work on, Remy. You've become thin, tired, you're not eating right anymore and you're barely sleeping."

"I think it's partly due to my wound," Remy admitted, "I can't exercise, I'm not burning off energy and then I'm not sleeping right 'cause I'm not wearing myself down."

"This, plus your drinking, is also possibly why your appetite has rapidly decreased," the Professor reasoned, "but Hank will probably discuss this with you and how you can treat it. But these things that are making your health decline are reasons why I think you should have the procedures Moira is offering; get your strength and stamina back, exercise without pain."

"Would be nice..." Remy sighed, "But...I can't leave Jessie..."

"I see," the Professor sighed, "I ask that you at least consider it. You would only be gone for a week, and Jessie is in capable hands here."

"I'll consider it," Remy replied, "but I already know my mind is made."


	3. Chapter 3 Gonna Be Fine

Chapter Three – Gonna Be Fine

When Remy left the Professor's office and travelled down the hall to get to the Foyer, he found Rogue floating up to the high ceiling to pin up elaborate and expensive looking decorations. Remy had forgotten that the Professor had been planning a New Years Eve party; the guests who had stayed over from Christmas would be attending, plus several others would be coming.

Rogue glanced down, seeing him there; she quickly pinned up the hanging garland, and she dropped down to the floor, the stiletto heels of her black leather Italian boots clicked on the marble floors. "Hey," she said cheerfully.

"Hey," Remy stepped closer.

"Where you been all morning?" she asked.

"Talking to the Professor, like I promised," Remy pointed out.

Rogue's expression was one of surprise – as if she actually hadn't expected him to keep his promises and just avoid dealing with anything that was going on in his life. She smiled a little, "really?"

"Yeah," he put his hands in his pockets and idly stood.

"So what now?"

"I'm going to go to therapy...just like you wanted me to," he replied quietly, he looked down at the floor. Why did it feel so shameful to surrender to her and Xavier and agree to therapy? It made him feel...almost dirty.

Rogue reached over and took his face in her gloved hands, she raised his head a little so he would look at her, "it'll help. I promise."

"And I won't drink..." he added, "but...for now, I'm still going to keep smoking. I'm not so stupid as to think I can cut out every thing at once. When I've tackled one problem, I'll move to the other..."

"I can live with that," Rogue decided, she stroked his cheeks, "I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"Yes. You've been worrying me lately, and...I wasn't sure we were going to make it if things went on the way they did. But...you're trying..._really _trying. And I know it's hard for you and that you _hate _talking to doctors..."

"No shit," he muttered.

"You'll get through it. And you'll get better. I'm behind you, 100% of the way. If you need help, I'll help you; I'll even sit with you during therapy sessions if you need me to..." she offered.

"No, it's something I really need to do alone," he decided firmly, "I got myself into this, I let myself slide...I know that...it's my own fault for ignoring it. And it's gotta be me who does this..."

"You sure?"

"I have your support, what else do I need...apart from your love?" he forced a smile, although it was empty and he knew she was well aware of it. Probably wondering what had happened to the good mood he'd been in that morning.

She smiled too, "you always have that."

They gazed into each others eyes for a moment, he was sure she was searching his to see if he really was alright; he was searching hers for some hope for the future.

"Did you talk to the Professor about going to Muir Island?" Rogue asked.

"I...brought it up. But I'm going to wait a while, until I've had some therapy before I take off for there. I don't think I could stand a long journey in the Blackbird right now anyway," he added. As he looked at her, he realised she was beginning to feel sad for him – it was almost as if his sadness was an infection that was starting to spread to her. He took her by the shoulders and shook her a little. "Hey, smile. It's gonna be fine," he said, although he had no sure way of knowing anything really would be.

"I think this little dude has your eyes..." said Kurt Wagner to Kitty Pryde as he stared down into the face of her baby.

"Lucky baby," cooed Kitty jokingly, she was lying on her side on the bed, the Baby was sprawled out on his back next to her, Kurt leaning over to look. "Hopefully, he doesn't get my nose."

"How did you sleep last night?" Kurt asked, he brushed a finger against the baby's button nose and grinned.

"Getting up for late night feeding was tough," Kitty sighed, "My alarm clock woke him up but not _me. _I woke up to his screaming – which was just absolutely delightful."

"Fun," Kurt smirked.

"I know I'm gonna get used to it, but _god,_ I really wanted to sleep right then. Through the past few months of pregnancy I barely slept – he would kick me all night long."

"It was really brave...of you to do this alone, I mean," Kurt admitted, "may I hold him?"

"Sure," Kitty sat up and picked the baby up carefully, "just make sure you support his neck," she added as she put him into the fuzzy blue elf's arms. It was strangely intriguing how at home Kurt looked with the baby in his arms, and Kitty found herself wondering how things would have been if their lives had never gone separate ways. Of course, it had been her fault they had never gotten back together; she hadn't been in the same place mentally that he was. And she felt even more responsible that he kept fleeting back to Scotland to be with Excalibur.

He looked at her strangely, "why are you staring?"

"Just thinking," she shrugged, "Just about how things turned out."

Kurt gazed down at the child in his arms, "they turned out pretty nice for you..."

"I dunno. Single mom, no sleep...house full of noisy mutants and hormone-raging students," Kitty giggled, "it's not exactly the life of complete bliss."

"You love this life _and _you know it."

Kitty lay back against the pillows, "that's what's sad about this...is...I really _do_ love it here..."

"I love it here, too," Kurt sighed softly, he got up and paced, the baby rocking lightly in his arms, the motion putting the infant into a peaceful slumber.

She gazed up at him, "Are...you thinking of coming back? I mean...for good?"

"I don't know," he said, "I love it here, but...I have so many more responsibilities back on the Island. And here..." he leaned into the baby's crib to put him in there, "the team is already very full."

"We could always use another in the team since I'm on maternity leave, and Jean will probably eventually have to take leave after she gets married to Scott – I know they'll probably try for a baby right away – I know she's kinda worried she's getting too close to thirty..."

"I suppose seeing Caleb is making her want a baby even more too," Kurt added.

"True," Kitty sighed, "I feel bad sometimes wondering if my having Caleb hurts Rogue...or Ororo...or anyone else...y'know?"

Kurt nodded, "I think I do."

Kitty stood up to move to the crib to check on the baby, all the while very aware of Kurt's watching her. "Y'know if you stayed, it'd be a great help. We could sure use someone to take over teaching computers and maybe German."

She felt his hand on her back, "are you..._asking_ me to stay?"

She paused, "I..." she tried to speak but her words were muddled in her head. Kitty sighed and turned to look at him, "honestly? I don't know – and I'm not in any condition to be making decisions or requests, really."

"Oh."

"Truthfully..." Kitty chewed the inside of her cheek, "I miss you. I totally miss _being_ with you...but..."

"But?" he asked, his expression somewhat hopefully.

"I don't know if it's because my hormones are screwed up from the pregnancy or..." she sighed, "or if it's just panic because I'm scared of doing this alone..." she shook her head at herself.

Kurt gave a slow, and very careful nod, "I understand. It's natural you'd be going through a lot of confusion. I get it..." he turned to leave the room, "and by the way," he looked over her shoulder, "You won't ever be alone."

It was strange how, even though he'd said it before he'd left the room, that after he left, Kitty had never felt more lonely in her entire life. She sat down at the edge of her bed and tried to contain the tears.


	4. Chapter 4 Forever Away

Chapter Four – Forever Away

Jessie watched as Rogue and Miss Grey floated up to the top of the ceiling in the formal function room of the estate to re-hang the chandelier that had been taken down yesterday for a clean. It was a room that Jessie wasn't familiar with and had never really entered before today. It was a long room with gleaming parquet floors and silken damask wallpaper like something out of one of those old time movies that Miss Pryde liked to watch.

The chandelier glimmered as it caught the last of the sunlight seeping in through the large french windows, and the walls and floors dappled in rainbow colours as the droplets of crystal swayed.

"Careful, it's not quite in the socket yet," Miss Grey commented to Rogue.

"This is awkward to hold," Rogue uttered, "hurry up...it's slippin' outta my hand!"

Jessie sat upon the slightly cold floor with folded legs and observed the two women. She wondered what it would be like to fly and envied them both as they were way up there. She wished she could be like Rogue and just take off whenever she felt like it. Or be able to levitate like Miss Grey.

In comparison, Jessie felt her powers were rather dull to what the two women could do. In fact, nearly everything about all of the women in the mansion left Jessie feeling rather dull and uninteresting. They were all so beautiful, slender and tall (save for Miss Pryde of course who was beautiful, slightly shorter and holding a little of her baby weight). They all wore such fashionable and beautiful clothes – she'd seen the dress that Miss Munro had set out for tonight's party and she envied anyone who would get to wear such a black dress that sparkled like the night sky.

She envied the fact that all these women would be attending the party tonight, and she herself, of course, would not be.

Jessie had of course protested about her banning from the party for being too young; she'd begged Professor Xavier to at least let her go for a little while, but the Professor was very strict about it. He advised it was an adult's party, and that it wouldn't be very interesting anyway. Jessie felt otherwise. There would be food, and drinks, and music – she suspected dancing too. She'd never been to a party where people got to wear the fanciest of clothes and danced across floors like they did in the movies.

"Jessie, what are you doing in here?"

Jessie turned to look over her shoulder, Professor Xavier had wheeled in; a plaid blanket across his lap. "I was just watching them put up the sparkly lightshade," Jessie replied. She couldn't quite find the word for chandelier, although she was sure she knew it somewhere in the back of her mind.

"It's a little draughty in here right now," The Professor warned, he took the blanket from his knees, "come here."

She stood and moved over to him, and let him wrap the blanket around her shoulders; it was warm and smelled of the modest but slightly musky cologne he wore. "When can I go to parties?" she asked of the Professor.

Professor Xavier watched Rogue and Miss Grey at work as they awkwardly fitted the chandelier, he was reflective for a moment before responding, "when you're older."

"But _when ?_" Jessie asked, having none of his easy answers.

"Maybe when you're a teenager."

"That's forever away," Jessie sighed, she watched Rogue and Miss Grey, "How old are they?" she gestured to them.

"Older than teenagers," the Professor was quick to reply, "but it's not very polite to ask an adults age; I know Jean is quite sensitive about it," he chuckled, he seemed to catch Miss Grey looking at him somewhat disapprovingly.

"Mr. LeBeau doesn't think it's impolite to ask. He told me he's twenty-eight. That's a whole twenty-one years older than I am," she said, wide-eyed.

The Professor smiled, "you're very clever," he noted.

"I've never been to a big party before," Jessie sighed, getting back on the subject of the party, "can't I just go for a _little_ while?"

"You're too young," Professor Xavier ran a finger under her chin playfully, "maybe another time."

Jessie pouted.

"Come, you should be playing in a warmer room," the Professor gestured to his lap.

She climbed onto his lap, always somewhat worried she would hurt him even though he had always assured her that he had no feeling in either of his legs anymore. It was always fun though when he would let her sit on his knees as he wheeled across the ground floor of the mansion, sometimes she would throw her arms out and pretend she was flying.

Today she didn't do that.

"Jessie, I sense that you're somewhat troubled," the Professor said, quite suddenly, he stopped at the adults rec room and wheeled in, the fire was lit and crackling nicely, he moved closer, and she climbed off.

"Everyone here is so much more important and older than I am," she admitted, "and they all got really cool powers..."

"Your powers are cool," the professor tried to pull off using the word, but it never sounded right on his tongue, Jessie wrinkled her nose at him.

"I hate being the baby here," she warmed her tiny hands by the fire. "I never get to do anything exciting."

Professor Xavier picked his words carefully, "You shouldn't hate being who you are or be ashamed of your young age. You have _a lot_ of life to live before you get to be as old as Jean or Rogue," he pointed out. "You'll see and experience so many wonderful things."

Jessie tilted her head, "what if I'm not here long enough to see those things?" she asked.

"Why would you not be here for that long?" he asked quickly, and worriedly.

"I dunno. Maybe the orphanage would want me back, or maybe you would all send me away..."

"That will _never_ happen. This is your home. No one can take you from here. We are your family and we're never going to abandon you."

Jessie smiled a little, "really?"

"I know you're worried that things are so good now that surely some day you'll have to say goodbye to everything and everyone here. But you won't. You have a home here permanently."

"Okay."

"Is that why you want to go to the party? Because you're scared you won't be here next year or the year after to see another?"

"Kind of," Jessie looked down to the floor, "it's just...everyone else gets to be there but me. I always get left out 'cause I'm so little."

The Professor sighed, but it was a sigh that sounded amused rather than annoyed; she raised her eyes to look at him. "Alright," he gave in, finally, "you can go to the party – but only for a little while. And you mustn't complain when it's bedtime."

"Oh I won't!" Jessie grinned delightedly and skipped on the spot, "I promise."


	5. Chapter 5 New Year Party

Chapter Five – New Year Party

"I don't know why you're making me go to this damn party," Remy remarked to Rogue as he stood at his bedroom mirror combing his hair; he tried at least to make more effort than he had for the last few weeks.

In the mirror he could see her sitting on his bed, she was wearing a dark green satin dress which suited her quite well. Since the dress was strapless, she'd opted to wear long gloves, and a very thin mesh wrap to protect her skin from being touched. With her hair up in an elegant up-do and her eyes smouldering with dark smokey colours, she was stunning.

"I'm making you go so people get to know you; you spend too much time alone in this place," Rogue pointed out, "besides, it'll be fun. Music, dancing, there was talk of Hank even bringing out that dusty old Karaoke machine from the eighties..." Rogue stood up and walked over, she stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, in her platform heels she didn't have to stand on her toes to rest her chin against his left shoulder. "You used to like parties," she reminded.

"Yes, a long time ago," he admitted. He swept his hair from his eyes but it fell back again.

He had to admit comfortable with most of the X-Men's acquaintances that would be at this party - although he knew it was partly due to his fame for having accidentally murdered Jared Rickman that made him feel uncomfortable around them. He was sure they were all very aware of the story and had their own opinions about how guilty he truly was.

But there was another factor.

There would be masses of free-flowing alcohol at this party and how he was going to keep himself from it when it was already his first instinct that he needed one. He couldn't rely on Rogue being with him every single minute to ensure he didn't go towards it. How could he survive the night on just cola alone?

He reached for his cigarettes from the dresser and took one out; he put it to his lips and lit it, the warm smoke seemed to console the cold feeling of anxiety that had tightened his lungs. He wondered how he'd cope with quitting smoking in the future after he'd dealt with the other more important issues. He had to admit, he'd miss it far more than the alcohol.

Rogue tightened her grip a little on him from behind, "are you alright?" she asked.

"Fine. I just don't like these social gatherings. I'd much rather just kick back in bed and sleep – or maybe just sit in the rec room and watch a DVD or something."

"It's only for one night. Live with it," she smirked, "I'm going to go downstairs and help greet people. I'll see you down there."

"Okay," Remy nodded at her.

When she was gone, he sighed and shook his head at his own reflection. He told himself he was being incredibly stupid – it was just for one night. And it seemed to be the one thing for now that would please Rogue. He'd just have to endure it, that was all their was to it.

He loitered around his bedroom for another twenty minutes before he finally decided to leave it. He could hear distant voices from way down in the foyer and their laughter made him feel somewhat miserable. He wished he could only laugh as heartily as they could.

Instead of heading downstairs, he beelined for Jessie's room. He was almost sure she would be in bed by then, and maybe even sleeping already, but he just had to see her. Her bedroom door was open, and he peered around it to see her putting on her Barbie sneakers. What made him smile was the fact she was wearing a costume party dress – a fairy costume, with matching wings (he hadn't been there for Halloween but he could only assume that Kitty had perhaps taken the young girl trick or treating). To top off the marvellous costume – which somehow fit despite it being past Halloween and Christmas – were the mismatched socks she was wearing; one pink with embroidered hearts, and the other yellow with Tinkerbell's image slightly skewed.

Jessie finished strapping on her left sneaker, and was about to get up, but then she noticed him there watching her, she smiled her childish grin – the small stubs of her two front teeth were just growing in and it made her smile all the more adorable. "I'm getting to go to the party," she said delightedly.

"That's great," said Remy, "but your socks don't match."

"I can't find a pair that do," Jessie sighed, she pouted and looked down at her feet, "does it look bad?"

"I think it's cute," he admitted truthfully, "may I escort you to the party?" he reached out his hand to her, momentarily forgetting his woes.

She took his hand, her tiny fingers disappearing beneath his; they walked together down the hall, Jessie skipping happily. "I've never been to a party before."

A feeling of guilt and sadness swept over him despite her happiness; she'd never had a party of her own because she'd been growing up in an orphanage where no one had cared. She'd never had friends or cousins or family members to attend their parties. If he'd known of her existence she'd have had a party any time she wished.

"I'm sorry," he said, without thinking.

"For what?" she asked, she gave a confused giggle.

"I mean...I'm sorry that you never got to go to a party before," he answered quickly to cover up his real distress. She seemed quite happy with this explanation and they walked together down the double wide staircase and into the foyer, to see the guests greeted, their coats being taken. Although Remy had known it would be a big party, he was somewhat shocked at the multitude of guests who were coming through. There were already twenty-five guests in the foyer, and he heard voices in East wing hallway.

"The party is that way," Jessie pointed to him, she walked ahead of him, pulling enthusiastically on his hand. It was a room Remy hadn't seen before – an unused ballroom from days when parties had probably been the norm. A glimmering chandelier hung above beautiful parquet floors. There were a few tables and seats laid out at one end of the long room – probably not enough but he was sure it didn't matter. At the other end, was a grand piano which Remy doubted had been played in years. He could smell the alcohol in the punch on the very large bowl on the table by the wall; it made him want to drink, but he resisted.

_Not while you're with Jessie,_ he reminded himself, he felt her hand tugging his as they walked towards Kitty who was standing talking to Kurt and a few others he'd never met; Caleb was in her arms in a cute little hand-knitted cardigan and matching booties, his face scrunched up and sleepy.

"Wow, you clean up nice," Kitty commented as he and Jessie approached, she looked down at Jessie, "oh dear...no matching socks?"

"I couldn't find any," Jessie sighed.

Remy suddenly realised it was most likely Kitty who had taken care of all these little things for Jessie, like making sure all the socks matched and that sneakers went with jeans and not with dresses. Now he realised it was perhaps something he was going to have to learn to cope with.

"Oh well," Kitty smiled, "You look very nice, Jessie."

"Thank you," said Jessie, beaming with pride.

Kurt knelt down to look at Jessie, "what pretty wings you have," he said, "but can you fly?"

"No," she pouted.

"Oh well. Some birds have wings and they can't fly either – but they're still cute," he pinched her cheek gently.

She smiled at him somewhat shyly.

"Jessie, why don't you go with Kurt and get some cola," Kitty suggested.

"Okay," Jessie replied brightly, unsurely she took Kurt's hand and followed him to the drinks table at the other side of the ballroom.

Kitty pulled Remy aside to a less populated section of the room, "how are you?" she asked very seriously.

"Fine, petit. Why?"

"I just...I wanted to make sure you were alright. You and Jessie seem...so comfortable around each other. It's so nice that you're already so at ease with her."

"To be honest, sometimes I _do_ feel a little uneasy," he confessed, "But I don't have a choice about this. I need to learn to be comfortable with her."

Kitty rocked the baby in her arms a little, she was looking over the room of party-goers.

"Speaking of comfortable," Remy cleared his throat a little, "you and Kurt seem to be...y'know. Closer."

"It's just echoes of something that used to be there. I'm a mom, now, I can't just go chasing after an old flame."

"I dunno, I see you lookin' at him and I'm thinkin' that you got deep feelin's for him again."

"I went out with him for years, Remy, I can't help having deep feelings for him. But I don't _love him_ the way I should, that's why me and him broke up in the first place."

"What about him lovin' you?" Remy asked.

"I think...he pities me because I'm a single mom now," Kitty answered. "But I don't need a substitute father for my so--" she cut herself off, staring across the ballroom "Pete..." she whispered, her lip trembled.

Remy followed her eyes to the door of the ballroom – a tall, impeccably dressed man had entered, hair as black as coal slicked back smoothly making him almost seem like a 1930's movie star. It was Piotr Rasputin. Kitty hadn't seen him since she was almost three months pregnant – it had been the revelation of her pregnancy that had let Piotr to take off.

A silent rage welled up in Remy, he hadn't thought about Piotr for the longest time, but his leaving Kitty in the way he had despite having claimed to love her did make his blood boil. Remy was almost positive if he'd been in the same situation and Rogue had been the one pregnant with another man's baby, he'd have at least had the decency to try and make it work and be there regardless.

Piotr's eyes met with Kitty's, and Remy looked between them both. Kitty was holding the baby, although she looked strangely pale, and nervous.

"Maybe y'better give the kid to me," Remy said, "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine..." Kitty breathed, but she turned to Remy and placed the child in his arms, "support his neck," she said softly, then turned as Piotr was approaching.

Remy wasn't sure whether to walk away or to stand there and be part of what he was sure was going to be a very uncomfortable discussion.

"Katya...you look so..."

"So...frumpy? So tired?" Kitty responded quickly.

"Beautiful," he finished, but his cheeks reddened, he tossed a quick glance to the child in Remy's arms, "Your...?" he asked.

"My son. Caleb Carmen Pryde," she folded her arms uncomfortably.

Piotr took a moment to examine the baby's face, the baby was nearly asleep, and gave a yawn with his toothless tiny mouth. "He is..." Piotr struggled for the word.

"Perfect," Kitty said, she moved closer to Remy and brushed her fingers against Caleb's cheek, she took some moments to stare into her baby's face because it was the only thing that seemed to calm the rapid beat of her heart and the angry heat of her boiling blood.

"Congratulations," Piotr said softly, he placed his large hand on her shoulder; Remy could see she was struggling to not flinch away from his touch. When Piotr left them standing there, Kitty sighed.

"I think that went well," she said meekly.

"Was that Pete?" came the voice of Kurt; he and Jessie were returning from the drinks table. Jessie had a paper cup full of cola that seemed slightly too big for her tiny hand.

"It was," Kitty said, taking the baby back from Remy, "I think I'm going to go put Caleb to bed – then I'm going to bed too...I don't really think I can withstand a party right now..."

Remy felt Jessie's hand grip onto the knee of his pants as if just to remind him that she was still there; but he kept his eyes on Kitty, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Remy. I just need some sleep – I should be sleeping when Caleb is sleeping, so..."

"Okay," he nodded, and he watched her walk slowly and carefully out of the room with the child in her arms; he wondered if tears would follow when she was finally alone.


	6. Chapter 6 More than You Know

Chapter Six – More than you Know

The drink was flowing like water from a river, and music was thumping from an impressive stereo. Remy felt strangely uncomfortable seeing all this drink right there. It was unusual being at a party – it had really been the first proper party he'd been to since Jean and Scott's engagement party. It was even more unusual being at a party and _not_ being able to drink.

Rogue was being sociable, moving from group to group of people, the skirt of her long jade satin dress was flowing when she moved, and the tiny sequins on her mesh wrap were glimmering in the light from the chandelier. She looked stunning tonight and he made a mental note to take her aside later and tell her so.

He felt a tug at his shirt, and looked down to see Jessie there, her costume wings hanging slightly askew, and cola spilled down the front of her little tutu styled costume. She was beginning to look tired, her lids droopy over her large blue-grey eyes, and her mouth gave a little yawn. Between him, Jean, and the Professor, she'd been well supervised and had behaved quite well at the party, although he was beginning to see her constitution might be slightly too weak to make it to midnight. It dawned on him that she _should_ have been in bed hours ago but the Professor seemed to either have had a change of heart or a lapse in memory. Either way, Jessie was still awake.

"Is it the New Year yet?" she asked, yawning.

"In ten minutes," he answered, he fixed her wings and smoothed her hair back from her face, "You want to go to bed now?"

"Not yet," she yawned again, she blinked to try and keep her eyes a little more open. "I want to see it go from this year to next year first."

On the dance floor a few were dancing to a rendition of an old Michael Jackson classic; he took Jessie's hand, "c'mon, lets go dance, keep you going for another ten or so mins until the clock strikes twelve..."

Jessie nodded, and followed him to the dance floor, keeping a tight grip of his large hand within her tiny one. On the dance floor, she wasn't gifted enough to really dance like the adults were doing. She tried a variety of steps which mostly consisted of her stomping her feet trying to keep in time with the beat.

It was odd, Remy thought, how dancing with the seven year old there on the dance floor made him wonder if he would dance with her at her wedding; would she ever get married? He tried to imagine her grown up and beautiful, with her long hair all pinned up beneath an elegant white veil, her in the most expensive and beautiful dress he would be able to afford her. It wasn't hard to imagine.

_This is crazy. A few days ago you didn't even know you have a daughter...and now...you're imagining the rest of her life and how it's going to be,_ he thought, he smirked just a little down at her pretty but impish face. She bounced up and down on the dance floor enthusiastically, holding onto his hands.

He glanced beyond her to see Rogue standing at the edge of the dance floor watching them both and smiling just a little at him; despite his happiness at that moment in time he felt a sense of guilt that Rogue still didn't know about Jessie; how could he even begin to think of telling her without scaring her off?

Through three songs, he and Jessie danced, until midnight, when them music stopped abruptly and everyone begun to count down. At the very stroke of midnight, fireworks began to go off outside, and the more drunken members of the party were blowing through party favours, and pulling the strings of champagne shaped little bottles that would explode into dozens of colourful streamers.

"Happy new year, mignon," he said as he knelt down to Jessie's level, and he kissed her cheek tenderly. She smiled and replied sleepily, "happy new year, Mr. LeBeau."

He hugged her feeling the strange kind of happiness he simply wasn't used to. He glanced across the dance floor to see Rogue still standing there right at the edge – alone.

Everyone was exchanging their New Year kisses, except Rogue, who was hugging herself. He realised this part of the New Year was probably always the hardest for her. A sea of hugging and kissing and she was alone; the woman who couldn't kiss or touch anyone. Gripping Jessie's hand securely, he stood and began to weave in and out of the people in the way to walk towards Hank.

"Mon ami...I have a favour to ask."

"What are you going to do?" Hank asked suspiciously; it was obvious that the thought he may go to drink was crossing his mind.

"Humiliate myself..."

Rogue watched Remy from where she stood; he was saying something quietly to Hank, who was nodding enthusiastically with an almost knowing smile. Jessie glanced up at both men confusedly. Hank gestured towards a corner of the room that was mostly obscured by people standing around exchanging kisses and hugs to celebrate the New Year. Remy disappeared into the corner, while Hank and Jessie made their way towards the grand piano.

"What's going on?" asked Logan, noting Hank setting up to play piano, "is he drunk?"

"I don't know," Rogue hugged herself, despite the warmth of the room she felt a strange chill.

The shrill sound of a microphone being far too close to the speaker source left the room wincing. Hank sat down at the piano, and cracked his knuckles enthusiastically. Rogue moved over to the piano.

"What's goin' on?"

Hank chuckled, "You'll see," he responded, and began to play, fingers deftly moving across the keys. The tinkling tones seemed to silence everyone who stopped what they were doing to see what was going on.

Then a voice ran out, a slight echo in the microphone.

"More than you know...

More than you know...

Lady of my heart, I love you so.

Lately I've found you're on my mind

More than you know..."

Rogue gaped as Remy appeared through the crowds with the Microphone in his hands. Jessie, who was standing by the piano began to clap her hands excitedly and giggle as Remy walked up to Rogue, and got down to serenade her with the Billie Holiday song.

"Whether you're right

Whether you're wrong...

Lady of my heart, I'll string along

I need you so

More than you'll ever know..."

Rogue's cheeks flushed scarlet as she looked around at everyone watching her reaction to Remy's unusual and unexpected serenade.

"Loving you the way that I do

There's nothing I can do about it

Loving may be all you can give

But darling, I can't live without it..."

With his free hand he took her gloved one and kissed it delicately, smiling up at her, his expression soft but somewhat amused.

"Oh how I'd cry

How I'd sigh

If you got tired and said goodbye...

More than I show

More than you'll ever know..."

The tinkling piano followed and ended nicely, he switched the microphone off and tossed it to the floor, he held her hand tightly within his, and softly said, "I love you."

Still blushing, she chewed her lip, but she laughed, "I love you too," she said somewhat shy. She watched him kiss her hand again, feeling the gentle pressure of his lips through her satin glove. And then she blurted out something completely unexpected – something she had never planned on saying.

"Marry me."

The End (or is it? Hahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Okay so her proposal is a little unexpected – hope it's a pleasant surprise for some. Episode 10 might be an even better surprise ;)


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